Authenticity as a Speaker
9 December 2011
This has been a hot topic at quite a number of Speaker conventions and a topic that has caused much debate over the years. If you look at our profession and how it has changed over the last few years, keeping it real has taken a back seat.
Today speakers are popping up left and right, and the market in many countries has become over saturated. Anyone that has presented a TV program, or won a medal in a sporting event is now suddenly entering the speaking market.
Although they create a 'short term' impact on the industry, many do not last and it's always the old hands that plod along and seem to make a success though good and bad times.
This poses the question - what makes the successful speakers different from the others? Many factors come into play here, but in my opinion, it's those speakers that 'keep it real.'
What do I mean by this?
I tend to only speak about personal experiences and try relating my stories to 'everyone out there.' I find that if I 'connect' with my audience and they can relate in their own lives to what I am saying, then my message is far more powerful than hyping them up for an hour with 'feel good' stories which they forget after a few days.
This brings me to my entry into the profession. I started my career as an entertainer (Comedy Magician) traveling the world at corporate events; on cruise liners, expeditions, etc. As it happened, I had quite a few unique experiences and my own success story stemming from a belief in myself. Being a social animal, many corporate executives would chat to me after an event and be fascinated by my life story. It is them that planted the seed in my mind of becoming an inspirational keynote speaker.
My initial reaction when clients would suggest this to me is that I didn't believe in the 'ra ra' hype of the motivational speakers I knew of. They were like TV Evangelists for me, revving up a crowd with shallow 'feel good' words, and made lots of money doing this.
I have always been an ethical person, and this went completely against my principles. I tend to be someone that practices what he preaches and couldn't see myself lying to people like that. As is, I was a magician who was 'deceiving' my audience through clever sleight of hand. But at least I told them I was deceiving them, and in an entertaining way too. There was no way I could go out and do something similar, while manipulating their emotions.
Eventually, after a few years of literally every client telling me to tell my life story, I decided to do it. However, I would do it my way, or not at all.
I distinctly remember many bureaus, agents and speakers laughing at me. In fact the beginning years were tough, as hype was the in thing.
Today I look back at those times and those speakers. Few if any are still speaking. Suddenly companies changed their philosophy. They now wanted measurable, practical sustainable life skills which employees could implement immediately. They needed their attendees to be able to connect with the speaker and be given useable and attainable tips. But most of all their focus shifted from an entertaining 'feel good' seminar to something that was real and would change the future focus of the company in a realistic positive manner.
I heard a great saying in April 2010 at the Professional Speaker Association conference in Holland. One of the speaker said, "When you are young, you're a 'Go Getter.' When you get older, you become a 'Go Giver.'
That basically sums up my philosophy. If you want to speak, then it must be an 'inner calling' and you must care deeply about humanity. Above all, your audience must be able to identify this trait the minute you walk onto stage. They must see a sincere human being who cares for others and whom they can relate to in their own lives.
If you can do this, then they will listen and respect what you have to say. I look back at how I started - I reached my dreams and was successful in my career, but something was missing. Entertaining the masses and making them laugh wasn't enough? I had reached a stage in my life where I need to become a 'Giver.'
Thus, wherever you are in your speaking career, you need to first ask yourself the question, "Why are you a speaker?"
Is it the glamour of the lifestyle?
Is it the high keynote fees?
Is it the celebrity lifestyle of living in planes and hotels?
Maybe you just enjoy people applauding you?
Or is it the reason you get up in the morning?
Lets be realistic here. You haven't chosen the easiest career on earth. If anything, speaking offers you no security and every time there is a global recession, companies cut down and training and motivation.
You may have just won a sports competition, or become the new 'Big Brother' champion. But in a year or two you will be 'old news.' What happens then? Right now you may not be able to keep up with bookings, and everyone thinks you are the greatest.
Have you got a long-term strategic plan, or are you just going with the flow?
Is your keynote only topical now during the World Cup Football? What happens afterwards?
There is a reason I pose all these questions. You see, if you are truly passionate about speaking and really care about others, then your whole approach to speaking will be different from the person that is just milking the system while the good times last and riding on recent events which have put them into the limelight.
This is where the term, keeping it 'real' comes into play.
Let's be honest here, none of us are saying anything that is new and which will profoundly change the world we live it. Nothing is unique to you only. We all talk about attaining our goals and being open to change.
So what makes you different?
What makes the audience believe your story over someone else's story?
It's all about 'how' you tell your story!
The only thing that distinguishes your message from someone else, is how 'real' the audience perceive your message to be.
Please understand that I am not knocking the sport or celebrity speakers. For one moment, think objectively and think about the 'masses out there.' Yes a gold medallist Olympic winner is an inspiration to everyone. But can everyone become an Olympic gold medallist? No!
However, if a mechanic from a middle class family can become a huge national success with services centers throughout the country, many more people can relate to this person. He or she is more 'real' than the 'A' list Hollywood actor.
Whether you want to accept this or not - most people cannot relate to your story about the trouble you had on your intercontinental flight and how you overcame it. Most have never been in a plane. All they care about is putting food on the table and making their pay check last until end of the month. Most people we talk to are the employees at big companies. They work for a fixed salary. They do not live in the environment that we as speakers are exposed to. Yes they may be living it up and partying the whole night through at the conference. But they only attend one conference a year. We speak at ten per month. They live in a different reality to us!
This is where many speaker make the mistake of not connecting with their audience. They are living in an unrealistic reality.
Thus, when one speaks about keeping it 'real', your message has to resonate with the person sitting in front of you - the average middle class man and woman in the street. If you can connect with them, and they can see themselves in your shoes and believe that they have the same potential as you - then you can bring about change.
By no means am I saying that you cannot use your unique experiences, however, you have to find a common ground, which makes your audience connect with you.
Let me take a personal example. I was part of an expedition in the Arctic where we ran aground and could have died. Where we experienced temperatures of minus 40 degrees. 99.9% of people on this earth have not and will most probably never go to the Arctic. It's an awesome story, but hardly anyone can connect to this on an emotional level, never mind it changing their lives.
But, if I tell the story briefly, to give background, and then ask my delegates to imagine themselves, within their own frame of mind, in that situation where one possibly only had an hour left to live. I expand on that asking them to imagine that they must imagine the hotel they are in now was the size of the ship. That they have not contacted their loved ones at all in the last ten days. Now they realise they have maybe an hour left to live - what would go on in their minds?
Suddenly I have taken my unique story, made it 'real' by relating it to their circumstances, and now have the possibility to tap into their emotional state of being and shocking them into making the most of every moment and not taking family, friends and co-workers for granted.
There are three factors that come into play here.
1. I experienced this event myself, so I can tell the story with conviction, emotion and realism which the audience can feel through my body language.
2.) A bonus factor is that I have gained credibility with my audience as through the use of photos/videos etc. they see I really was there.
3.) Because I am 're-living' the real event with them, I am baring my soul to the audience. I am instilling a level of trust in them by sharing my most personal thoughts.
Don't you agree that because of this they are far more likely to 'connect' with me than if I was just relaying someone else's story?
Fair enough, not everyone has novel stories like this. But you don't need them! I have spoken about relating to the average person 'out there.' Sit down and brainstorm what issues these people may have.
The majority of people have financial problems. Many people know someone that owes them money, or have been done in by a scam on some sort. Who hasn't?
Odds are you have too. Tell your audience about it. Share the thought that went through your mind - odds are they will have had similar thoughts! Now you're keeping it real!
Here's another personal example. Many of us have a horror story about building our own home, or having work done to our homes where contractors have disappeared with our money. This happened to me to. In fact when it did happen to me, I paid someone to look for the contractor and beat them up. Guess what - this person also ran away with my money! If I am right, you are smiling now. Why? You can relate to it. Most people would love to get their own back if someone did them in. But various moral or other reasons stop them from doing this. Suddenly here's a guy on stage that talks about what everyone would have loved to do, and then got caught again. Everyone can laugh and relate to it. I have bared my soul. I have shown I am a 'real' person with the same thoughts and feelings as them. I also do stupid things. Now they look at me and are suddenly glad they never attempted to pay someone to get their own back. I have connected with my audience on a totally deeper level.
Now I can talk to them about the lessons I learnt and share this with them. Why one shouldn't hate, why one should take responsibility for one's own actions, etc. Odd's are they will take so much more home with them from this, compared to me just telling them that one shouldn't hate and one should take responsibility for ones own actions.
Get my point?
I am keeping it 'real' for everyone out there!
